


Teaching Old Dogs New Tricks

by cordelia_gray



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Curtain Fic, Gen, Spring Fling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordelia_gray/pseuds/cordelia_gray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam & Dean discuss unpleasant medical procedures, and fishing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teaching Old Dogs New Tricks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sinnerforhire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinnerforhire/gifts).



> Written for spnspringfling 2011, as a pinch-hit. Mostly crack, leavened with a touch of schmoopiness. A trifle. Basically invalidated by current canon, but it made sense at the time.

“Dean, come on, it’s time to go. We need to be there in half an hour.”  
“Hey Sam, check it out. All these severed feet keep washing ashore in Puget Sound. They’ve found 20 in the last decade - that can’t be natural. Looks like something we should go look into, right?”  
“Most of these are in Canada, Dean. We’d have to leave the country.”  
“Sounds great! Lets start packing.”  
“Dude, you hate Canada. But if you really want to go, we can.”  
“Really?”  
“Really. Right after your doctor’s appointment.”  
“I don’t want to go the fucking doctor, Sam. Why do I have to and you don’t?”  
“Because you’re older, big brother. I still have a few years left before I gotta start doing it.”  
“This sucks. It’s not fair.”  
“Why are you being such a wuss about this, Dean? You’ve lived through way worse, I assure you.”  
“It’s fuckin’ undignified, is what it is. Getting old sucks.”  
“Better than the alternative.”  
“...”  
“Seriously? You’ve been dead, Dean. You really think that’s better than letting some doctor shine a light up your ass to check for cancer?”  
“What if they find it, Sammy? This brochure says people who eat red meat & fatty foods are way more likely to get ass-cancer.”  
“Dean, you don’t have ass-cancer. That’s why I make you eat your vegetables.”  
“Fine, let’s just go already.”  
“Look, Bobby’s been doing this for years now. It can’t be that bad.”  
“No wonder he’s so goddamn grumpy all the time.”  
“Not so grumpy since he retired.”  
“That’s because he had the good sense to marry a woman who bakes, Sammy. Why haven’t I done that?”  
“Because then you’d have to give up the one who makes the kick-ass chili. And the one who gets you free drinks at Earl’s bar.”  
“You make a good point, brother.”  
“Anyway, Marci brought us a cobbler. We can have it with ice cream after the appointment.”  
“Are you bribing me now, Sam? Jesus.”  
“Well, if you’re going to act like a five-year-old...”  
“Look, I’m going, OK? What more do you want?”  
“Hey Dean?”  
“I said I’m going, Sam.”  
“Do you really want to go check out that hunt?”  
“Seems worth a look, right? And the car could really use a good stretch of highway driving. She’s starting to seize up.”  
“The car, huh? Well, we haven’t been out West in years. Why don’t we go?”  
“You sure, Sam? We got all these responsibilities now.”  
“The world won’t come to an end if Singer Salvage is closed for a week or two. Marci & Bobby can look after the dogs. It’ll be fine.”  
“What about the boosktore?”  
“Selena can take care of it for a little while. It’s never that busy, anyway.”  
“You shouldn’t take advantage of her like that, Sam. You know she’s got a crush on you.”  
“Shut up! I don’t take advantage. She needs a job. I pay her. It’s that simple. Besides, what about all those ladies who’d rather wait three days to get their oil changed at Singer Salvage than get it done in a hour at the chain place?”  
“What can I say, Sammy? I’m a good salesman.”  
“You’re disgusting, Dean.”  
“Can we put a sign up over the gate that says ‘Gone Fishin’?”  
“I thought this was a hunting trip.”  
“It’s called fishing when you’re hunting sea monsters, Sam. What do you use for bait, I wonder?”  
“I don’t know. I’ll go talk to Bobby about that while you’re getting probed.”  
“You’re a giant douche and I hate you.”  
“I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour. Dick.”

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Marci was Bobby's neighbour, the one who made peach cobbler in "Weekend at Bobby's".


End file.
